This week’s exercise has taking the Loving-Kindness
meditation to the next level, which is the practice of Universal Loving
Kindness. It is somewhat easy to practice Loving-Kindness for ones that are
close to us, but now we must take this feeling and extended it out past our
love ones and open our hearts to strangers, enemies, and all of humankind. Accomplishing this is a “true gift to oneself
and the world”. The development of universal loving-kindness is the final leap
in our interpersonal development. (Dacher, 2006)
To practice Universal Loving Kindness you will do the
following: close your eyes and for a minute or two resting into a relaxed
state. Repeat the following phrases for 10 minutes.
May all
individuals gain freedom from suffering.
May all
individuals find sustained health, happiness, and wholeness.
May I
assist all individuals in gaining freedom from suffering.
May I assist all individuals in
finding health, happiness, and wholeness.
When I first began to repeat the above phrases, It was just
words I was repeating, but then as I really put my heart into the words and
their meaning, the meditation practice became quite fulfilling.
After taking a close look at my personal circumstance, and
assessing the four aspects of integral health (psychospiritual, biological,
interpersonal, and wordly) I have determined that the interpersonal aspect is what requires the most attention. I have a 13 year old autistic son who struggles
with behavior issues. This causes our
relationship to be in turmoil often. I
think one of the most important exercises that I can implement is continuing to
practice meditation. This practice helps
to reduce my stress which in turn gives me more patience and understanding. Which once I am able to filter out the stressful situations, I know that my interpersonal relationship will begin to flourish.
Laurie
I think that you acknowledging that your interpersonal aspect of integral health needs attention is the first step. As Dr. Phil would say, you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. I love this statement! Raising a child is a very stressful job that requires a ton of patience! Raising a child with special needs only raises the challenges which require even MORE patience. I have a girlfriend who has a four year old daughter (her daughter is about 9 months older than my daughter) and she is having a difficult time parenting. She asks me for advice because she can see how my daughter behaves. I have given her some advice and I cannot stress enough to her that she needs to be consistent and have patience. Patience is so important. When I get frustrated (and I do) I just tell my daughter I need a time out and I will walk away. I don’t believe in yelling, raising my voice, arguing, etc. I have also told my friend that she needs to work on her too. If you don’t take care of yourself you are not in the correct frame of mind to take care of your daughter. My friend does not sleep enough, thus she is tired and gets cranky easily. This is not helping with the patience you need to raise her daughter properly.
ReplyDeleteI love the fact that you have decided to work on meditation. Meditation is a great way for you to focus on you. This is also a great way just to relax, regroup, and di-stress yourself. Raising your son who is autistic does come with the stresses and challenges that you mention. Taking it day by day and focusing on his needs and focusing on your needs through meditation will assist you in your journey towards improving the interpersonal aspect of your life. Good luck to you!
I think that meditation would benefit me as well as any of my clients. I only see good things that would materialize from meditation. Clearing your mind and taking time for yourself is so important. It does not have to be a full blown 30 minute meditation session with chanting mantras, but a simple five minute break out of the day can do wonders for a person’s mind and body.
Jessica,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your very insightful response. I know that when things are getting escalated, a time-out is what always works the best for both me an my son. I think it is just as important for the parent to take a time out as it is for the child.
Laurie
Lori,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your experience with the loving kindness exercise. Opening our hearts to strangers, and people who are different than us can open a whole new world to us if we just be willing to learn and grow. Showing loving kindness to the unknown can be quite easy however when it comes to spreading loving kindness to our enemies….. That’s for me was a little harder. I was at a place of not wishing g them harm but stubborn and not wanting to wish them good or deal with them at all. Then I thought are these peopling really my enemy? And well, I don’t think they are, they are just people I have found to be nasty and unkind. Then I think- do they feel that way about me? I surely hope not. Now it’s much easier to wish them health and prosperity and freedom.
Best wishes on your relationship with your son, possibly you can teach him to meditate or listen to the subtle mind exercises too.
Robin
And i love the photo you chose this week
Robin,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your response. My hopes are that someday I will be able to teach my son meditation, we practice relaxation techniques all the time, mostly breathing, and finding things that help him calm down. He has a wrestling encyclopedia that he likes to look at when he is feeling out of control. I think in its own way it is a form of meditation for him, because it takes his focus off from the outside world and allows him to focus on one thing, and he can usually calm himself down in the matter of a few minutes just by sitting and looking at his book.
Laurie
Hello Laurie,
ReplyDeleteI have a four year old autistic daughter so I can relate to you. My daughter also has behavioral problems. She gives me attitude, like a teenager, over the littlest things. It can be very stressful and on the really bad days meditation can be the only salvation. Keep on meditating and you will reach you interpersonal goals. Good luck!
Laurie,
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so candid and sharing your personal challenge.
It is very hard to raise teenager and twice as hard to raise teenagers with special needs. Meditation is one of the best practices to reduce your stress and also to gain insight. Good luck and best wishes. Ivonne
Very informative post Laurie,
DeleteI have to agree with the others who posted here. You were so open and sharing I think that you are showing your loving and kindness.